Friday, 17 October 2014
i used to notice this guy on the bus.
he would take the same bus as me when we're waiting for the buses @ dover mrt station.
it's always after school ended.
and i would remember which bus stop he would alight at, which is a few bus stops before clementi mrt station.
he was cute.
oh and I remembered something else! I always remembered seeing him around campus as well and he was probably an IT student since I'm from the school of business.
and NO I'M NOT A STALKER OK!
i just like observing people, especially if i kept noticing the same person that boards the same bus as me and happens to be cute ok!
I called him the 'cute guy in the bus'
4 to 5 years later..
no I didn't see the same cute guy in the bus anymore.
this time round I notice the handsome guy in the bus LOL
he's the 'guy with the orange backpack'
hence this post.
I..can't..believe..I'm starting to fall for this guy I BARELY KNEW.
yup, not even his name.
what's a girl like me to DOOOOO when I fall for guys so easily and its not fun at all OK.
I'm never the confessing type. (though I did that to someone indirectly
and what happened?? he totally friend-zoned me and we never talked anymore, it's so sad. he's married and recently became a father and I'm so happy for him but I can never expressed it to him 'cos its just awkward..still. we used to be close enough..)
I started noticing this handsome guy on the bus when (as usual, at the start of this post) I kept seeing him board the same bus as me at the opposite bus stop @ clementi mrt station ALL THE TIME.
well not everyday though..but you know what I'm trying to say here.
But recalling back (cos I have quite the memory), I used to see him take the same train as me @ woodlands mrt station too!
We even took it at the same cabin door once.
I used to wait at the same spot and I would see him stand opposite of me.
we both knew which door to stand nearer to when we boarded (because it was either platform A or D when its heading to JE station
I remembered him wearing a red skinny pants with a black top ya.
It was a Wednesday because the lunch shuttle bus would bring us to Ayer Rajah Food Centre.
I went there with my colleague and ate near a stall I wanted so much to eat maggi goreng
While I was eating, I noticed him already sitting a few tables away from us. How I knew it was him..from that red skinny pants LOL. and of course I remembered how he looked like.
He probably took the next lunch bus after us 'cos we took it earlier than 12.
wow like FATE right??
I dunno :/
Nowadays when I take the train or the bus or the lunch shuttle bus as well, I don't see him when I wanted to, and it SUCKS.
so you see I was yearning to see him. that only means I'm kinda..falling for this guy..
and LATELY I started seeing him again on the bus most of the time. That is if I come to work LATE lol! and why i never noticed him anymore is because he no longer wore that orange backpack. That orange was quite striking, it was easy to spot him from the crowd ok!
ONE FINE MORNING i saw him with a book (wow he likes to read too??)
no guy i ever knew liked reading books. of course i like (no LOVE) if a guy likes reading books just like me too.. :(
and then another morning when he had like a soyabean carton drink with him. this guy drinks his soya bean, so good! lol
Another thing i recalled (before all these FEELS
for this guy), i would arrive @ clementi and head to the bus stop and wait for the bus as usual.
While looking far for any incoming bus, i would see him standing a few feet from me.
(So he was always there before i knew of his existence!)
He carried with him like a hockey stick one time.
(damn this guy plays sports too! lol /likes/)
pretty much delirious me.
so YOU! the guy that I'm talking about. Please tell me your name leh :((((
bogo-ship-poyo 2:44 pm
Wednesday, 10 September 2014
You see...I don't have a lot of friends. To be more specific, I don't have a lot of malay friends.
And I don't know why though..
When I recalled my schooling days, I didn't have a lot of malay friends back in poly. Just 3 during my 2nd year only! yup, none during my 1st year in SP.
And all 3 are guys though haha...
I had malay friends in secondary school but I wasn't close to them as I went to a different class than them Sec 3 onwards. It's not like I don't like making friends. I actually have many close friends, just not a lot of malay friends.
and THEN I recalled my primary school days where it all started really.
My first 2 years was at a different school. at yishun. and then we moved. And after that, I was schooling my remaining 4 years at another school.
Maybe I watch too much drama/movies but when I recalled back how I was like the 'transferred student', it wasn't that easy to make friends. Maybe just for me 'cos my brother had no problem whatsoever.
I made a friend. Her name was Syahirah (I think that's how it's spelt?). We would go home together and stuffs. But one fine day, I got a letter written from her. She wrote that we cannot be friends anymore. How sad (now that I'm thinking about it). I don't remember for what reasons she didn't want to be my friend anymore.
I only remembered after the letter, she was seen mostly with her usual group of malay girlfriends.
Like she wasn't allowed to be friends with me because her girlfriends said so.
She wasn't in the same class as me. Just malay classes only. But we became estranged just like that.
I think I was a cool girl then because I was cool not being friends with me. Like it was no big deal. I was the quiet girl anyway..
My only regrets was not being more open with people then. Because I don't remembered a lot of my primary school days, it's as if I didn't try hard enough making friends then. I didn't keep in contact with any of them at all. I really wanna try doing it now. I did add some of them on FB that I remembered. The rest of them were familiar but nope can't remember much. They were most probably just from malay class so yeah. although I added one girl on FB but eventually I found out she unfriend me on FB months after that like seriously??? >__>
you see that's why..i don't have a lot of malay friends 'cos I've got NO idea why
bogo-ship-poyo 11:16 am
Friday, 15 August 2014
Platform A and D were packed with people. Because it's Friday meh?
Not helping that train intervals were slow like snails.
My colleagues and I waited at Platform A thinking there's lesser people but there's not much difference from D at all.
What happened? I don't think there was any train faults. More like staff faults....
We probably waited for more than 10mins. The screen kept changing the timings. 3mins to 'no timing' to 6mins and then back at 3mins. Right when it was 1min, it changed to 'Do Not Board' wtf right..
Because it showed 'Do Not Board' some people were unsure whether to board. I knew it could still be boarded because no staffs were there or no announcements that mentioned NOT to board.
So we still went ahead and moved forward but suddenly people started coming out again. Some idiots heard the announcement from inside the train that it wasn't for boarding. My colleague saw the screen showing a new update AMK so it IS for boarding.
I was like, "comeon let's go in, what are you waiting for!"
"I can't. People in front of me kept reversing back. People behind me kept saying don't push ah" exclaimed colleague.
We gave up.
The train at connecting platform B was arriving and we headed straight to D. At least the train there was arriving as well.
We were almost inside the train but it was FULL!
Colleague was still positive though. At least we are at the beginning of the Q now!
But we turned back and see Platform A's train was filled with people. So you see...that train was BOARDING PEOPLE ANYWAYS ㅠㅠ
OH we were still waiting for the train at D to start moving but it was waiting for A to move off first.
The train at the connecting platform B (againnnn) was arriving and i made the decision.
Ok girls trust me this time round. We are going back to Platform A.
Oh we ran lol
It was fairly empty at Platform A and i made the RIGHT decision. Like finally.
I didn't get a seat though. My collegaue did. I was a tad slow or because a ninja-woman was faster than me.
I was feeling emotional today I guess. I faked cried lol *wipe tears off my face but there's no tears*
Ninja-woman was staring at me i noticed. Heck she probably didn't give a damn since she had the seat first.
But my nice colleague gave up her seat for me eventually lol
Fine if ninja-woman got the seat first but i just couldn't accept it once she started taking selfies right after she sat down.
I felt like as if she felt a sense of accomplishment and...but first let me take a selfie moment came.
She took a lot and i couldn't stand (no pun intended) noticing what she was doing!
Ok how about a happy-ending.
Right after a few stops, many people alighted and there were 3 empty seats and all 3 of us were finally seated together. I changed seats because i cannot stand sitting beside ninja-woman ok!
What a Friday la!
bogo-ship-poyo 7:22 pm
Tuesday, 12 August 2014
oh heads up!
Sorry if I'm giving you the cold shoulder because I don't think you deserve my warmest reception.
Before certain people left, they say stuffs about you and I just thought maybe it's some misunderstanding.
But I come to realise NOW that they are probably right.
You are one selfish people I finally came to know.
Selfish and money-minded too.
My poor colleague was sick and I thought you could cover for her even if its just A BIT.
But no, you said yourself that, 'she can just do it on her own tomorrow!'
(Oh yeah, I'm talking about my own colleague ok guys ok)
Right after HE said that (yes a 'he' ladies & gentlemen), I was like in my head saying'..oh...ok..so you're finally showing your true colours..yeah sure, do whatever you want'
My poor colleague (again) came back to work the next day, still feeling unwell.
I had to tell her that her work wasn't done on her behalf at all and clearly she wasn't looking happy at all after hearing the news. (oh maybe that's her sick face?)
Come on dude.
When you were on leave, she covered your ass. She did your work on YOUR behalf. The least you could do was help A BIT?
Anyway, she's not some close colleague of mine but STILL ???
That was IT for me.
I tried to be normal around him but it's just not possible.
Whenever he asked my help (like all the TIME!), I just said, "go do it yourself!''
I do feel slightly
guilty after saying that but I cannot be soft-hearted with these kind of people!
Call me childish whatever.
so yeah, I hope karma bites your butt HARD.
bogo-ship-poyo 4:40 pm
Monday, 11 August 2014
When asked about her own love life, Gain's answers were whimsical.
"I'm the type that falls in love quickly. I also do a lot of imaginary dating," she said.
"There has been a lot of people that I liked, but I've never dated anyone for a really long time or loved so much that it left a huge scar."
GAIN is so like me when i first found out about this interview during a show.
I think i fall in love very easily. Even if i found out it wasn't LOVE that i thought i felt at the end of the day.
How am i supposed to know what LOVE really felt like right? LOL.
You just assume.
Do i do lots of imaginary dating??? lol i really think i DO that once in a while lmaoooo.
I dunno what hers were like, but i do a lot of thinking in my head. And i have quite the imagination if i have all the free time in the whole.
Just like GAIN, i've liked a lot of people too but i've never dated anyone in fact LOL
She's a celebrity so i don't think she can easily just go to someone and say, 'Hey i like you, can i have your number?' She's probably like me too, too afraid to take the chance.
Looking back at myself the past 5-10 years, i can't believe i was so daring back then.
I did a lot of online dating last time. Met up with guys when i only knew them for less than a month or so.
If i had told anyone about this, i don't think they allowed me to meet any strangers on my own lol.
So many ups and downs with this online dating world but i learn a lot throughout my experiences.
Right now, i stop totally. Like i'm more of a coward now really.
I still want to seek love, seek a long-term relationship with someone but not in the 'instant' way.
I want to find a guy that actually gets me. My quirky me at random times, my need to be alone at times. My cravings for certain foods at certain times.
I want to find a guy that likes reading books just like me! (not like i'm a total nerd) but i love hanging out at the library/bookstore and i know a lot don't like to be anywhere near books even.
In fact, i realised when i've dated a lot (online) none of these men likes to read books, novels etc.
So maybe i need to find a bookworm like myself. Good-looking bookworm guys anyone?? lol
I still think about guys i've dated in the past.
WHAT IFs..IF ONLY..
Would it be crazy of me if i were to re-connect with some of them..?
(Of course if i decided to do just that, i won't be two-timing anyone, trust me)
ok random end to my post...BYE!
bogo-ship-poyo 4:22 pm
Saturday, 2 August 2014
Friday late afternoon when i heard the news that my cat was in pain and was already on its way to the vet. Like thank god someone was at home. My sis was. I didn't know much info and i couldn't help but think of the worst. Got home to a realisation that i won't get a hello from my cat. His collar bell was left at the high chair he always laid at. The sound of the bell was enough to get me crying. Yet at the time i still didn't know further news of my cat. Later on, what i heard from my mum was that, he was in the hospital under observation over the night. Already the doctor said he would have a 50/50 chance of surviving with his weak heart. Then the next day, today, i was still clueless as to any updates. Then i read from a WhatsApp that he passed on in the morning. And i broke down even more. I already broke down while showering. On the way out to my aunt's house, in the train, i was tearing up from just reading articles about the death of a cat. But i pulled through cos it's really embarrassing crying in public ok. Once in a while when i looked thru his pics on my phone, i nearly cried. Sighs. I really don't know how long I'll get over my loss. My family's loss. My cat was really like our family member. So this is how it feels to lose your love ones. Whenever i mentioned being 'home alone' i was never truly alone because my cat was always there. I will miss him lots. No other cat can replace him despite him being quite the lazy cat lol. I wish he was more outgoing and friendlier but he's still the best to me. I will miss you Ginger. Thank you for being there for my ups and downs. Tonight we're gonna find a spot to bury him. I wonder if i can bear to see his current state. I hope I'm strong enough. Miss you miss you miss you already Ginger.
bogo-ship-poyo 10:22 pm
Saturday, 5 July 2014
What a FRIDAY i went through at work!
First half of the day was busy but manageable. I had to sit at the reception so usually when i'm there, i can barely do much work because i'll be walking in and out, in and out. If i'm going in to do something, i ended up getting distracted and do something else until i get back to my place and remembered what was it i was supposed to do initially.
Whatever else i planned to do, didn't happen because sometimes i just sucked at planning.
So the chaotic event happened right when someone rang the door bell. Let him in and all the electricity went off. i was like O___O wtf just happened.
Went inside and found out SOMEONE had a faulty charger (like seriously???)
Everyone else was like woohoo don't need to work anymore, let's go homeeee
I was like DAMNIT my report didn't get save all the way (when i already finished it right b4 the short circuit UGH).
It was dark but then i found out certain lights in the office are emergency lights but it was still dimmed especially in the corridor. SO while my colleague tried to switch back the tripped switch, i was standing by the power switch room by the corrider because i was concerned.
DAMN who knew i had my left hand leaning near the door hinge of the power switch room UNTIL my colleague (THE ONE WITH THE FAULTY CHARGER) let go of the door and seconds later realising that my fingers got caught in between.
WTF SO DAMN PAINFUL!! it was like a slow-motioned pain. my BRAIN couldn't register the pain until seconds later. i was SILENTLY crying out loud (if that makes sense) because i don't want to look like so much in pain (but i was and it was horrible holding it in).
Accused colleague supposed to be concerned but initially he was like WHY YOU PUT YOUR HAND THERE and i was like SERIOUSLY?? (only in my head because he is a scary-looking guy).
And you know how i'm a CRY BABY, the way he said it like he was scolding me!
I headed straight to the pantry to not let anyone see that i was tearing up! Both from the PAIN and him 'scolding' me.
So why is it my fault when i'm the one suffering right then???
I tried calming myself down. Took a tissue paper and wipe my little tears. My other colleague came in to make a drink and i told her about my hand (or 2 of my fragile fingers) and i can't remember when but i was a burst pipe, i started CRYING.
She was like, WHAT HAPPENED and i told her i felt like i was being scolded instead of being consoled.
When the electricity came back on, i checked my saved work and it was 2/3 done thanks to the recovery mode but i wasn't in the right mood, i couldn't think properly. I couldn't type probably either because of my left fingers. I finished my work AGAIN and what do you know!! i closed the wrong file and it wasn't saved yet again. I opened that stupid file again and this time round it was saved 1/3 of the way only. HAD TO REDO IT YET AGAIN.
THE COLLEAGUE WITH THE FAULTY CHARGER came by my area and at least he asked whether i was okay and that was what i needed from him. Most of my colleagues had any idea of this incident other than 2 of them that witnesssed it, 1 that was in the pantry when i explained and 1 that i asked to get ice to treat my fingers just in case.
I had to submit a safety report since it's mandatory and i didn't want to delay it because i would forget most of the detail if i did. I KNOW i didn't discuss with anyone. But why would i go around the office showing my poor fingers, like i would be whining if i do that.
The problem now is because of the safety report that i submitted. i know i wrote it as FINGER-CRUSHING INJURY but i googled it and it seemed to be the more appropriate term i really never thought of it as an EXAGGERATION.
After work, i rushed to get home on the dot even though my work wasn't done but really i wasn't in my right mind to finish anything REALLY. On the way home, my safety officer messaged me feeling concerned. i said i was fine. When i almost reached home, my other colleague called and mentioned about the 'Finger-crushing' injury like he was more concerned why i wrote it as that and not about my stupid fingers!
And just before i wrote this post, my other colleague called. I didn't want to answer, it's probably about the stupid incident anyway. Either she was concerned or just another 'why you write it as finger-crushing injury?'
SERIOUSLY with the late 'concerns'. MY FINGERS ARE FINE ALREADY. Though i will never ever forget that painful feeling and how no one was concerned about it. I cried and one of the temp staff noticed i cried. only she did.
When i finally reached home, i just went straight to my bed and cried. I had so much WHYs. Right after that blackout, things started going wrong for me. WHY ME?
god knows how i'm going to go through with monday when it comes....
we'll see if it's bad. If not, thank god. But if it's exactly like what i expected, i'm getting out of that company i don't care anymore.
bogo-ship-poyo 10:47 pm